your thong is hanging out like whoa
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize