To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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