Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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