just come out here and I will go home with you...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
