you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
