therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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