which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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