shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
