I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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