Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Welp...herpes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
