the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
