We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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