nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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