and you said cock pushups were impossible
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
