I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
