If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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