I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize