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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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