you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
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Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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