In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
