Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize