Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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