just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I deserve this hangover.
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