Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My feet surprised me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize