I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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