There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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