and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize