You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize