I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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