We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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