are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
