then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
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