I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize