where am i from again
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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