That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
