What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
