I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
