I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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