omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
