i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
