your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
