There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sober January is a disaster.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
