Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
