Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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