Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
