Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
