separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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