the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
