You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you win again, gameday.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
