Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
