You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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