I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
