i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
sex in a hospital.. check
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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