And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
