If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
