By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
