just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
