i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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