I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
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We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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