dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
please don't ironically join a cult
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